The Quest for the True Self

In the philosophy of the Hindus, the Upanishads, the following allegory has been recorded: 'Know this: The self is the owner of the chariot; the chariot is the body; soul (buddhi) is the body's charioteer; mind the reigns; senses, they say, are the chariot's steeds; their object the tract before them.' ¹

In the chariot, the (invisible) self, atman, is sitting; 
buddhi, insight, is the charioteer; the reins are atman, the thinker; 
the horses are the senses and what they see forms the road.

The quest for this exalted goal, the path, demands great perseverance, however. We are simply unable to focus continuously on it. Our thinking is bound to a biologically determined vital urge, which keeps us imprisoned within the limits of the material world. This leaves its mark on our experience and thus determines our goals.

Our thinking is naturally occupied with transient things. Often, our emotions and affections are like untamed, barely controllable horses which gallop towards the phenomena of this world and link them to our personalities.

In order to control the horses we try to cultivate our instincts. In this way, we acquire ever more subtle powers with which to maintain ourselves in the world of matter. The true self, which is as a light germ lying among the luggage of the chariot, remains untouched by all of these refined expressions of life. As long as we concentrate our lives -- and hence our thinking -- on matter, our emotions will also remain within the limits of this life field of opposites, and the light germ will be unable to teach us with its impulses.

Try to bring rest into contemplation

We are unable to escape the cycles of joy and pain through which we are dragged along by our senses, and initially we do not perceive their purpose. There is no goal! The question is not whether we achieve something specific, but rather to become thoroughly aware that we belong to another field of life. From this, a goal may arise! In such a state of mind, we will one day experience that the cohesion suggested by our senses is an illusion. Our volatile longing already implies the delusion and subsequent grief. Delusions are nothing but incorrect impressions of the laws controlling our lives.

Once we give up these impressions and soberly consider and accept all things and conditions, we reach a border. When we then wonder if the suggested external cohesion is true, it is the first step towards the liberation of our matter-directed thinking.

The hidden light nucleus has awakened an as yet unknown feeling in us, an indefinable longing, a homesickness. If we ignore this feeling, the senses and the mind will lead us down countless wrong trails. In addition, the impulses of this light spark will give us insight into the lost inner life. Whether we will be able to raise our thinking above matter depends on this insight originating from the heart.

A purified heart will lead to the correct insight, as we can read in the Upanishads. With the correct insight, we can finally understand our experiences. In the light of our 'primordial source', we can see that all these experiences have been necessary, but have also been deviations from the path to the true goal. Our past then turns into a breeding ground for the forgotten true self, which can now blossom forth like a lotus flower from the mud of a pond.

'The Teachings of the heart' give the following, loving advice: 
'The pupil should not mourn about passing distress and deceptions... 
Often they can effect a direct destruction in his inner being... 
He should always allow the waves of doubt and unrest to wash over him, 
while continuously holding on to the anchor he has found.'

Vishnu's abode

He who has gained insight and inner purity, and uses them as a charioteer and uses the objective thinking as the reins, will arrive at the highest place, Vishnu's exalted abode. Vishnu is the god of gods, who together with Lakshmi, the goddess of the blooming lotus, rests on the cosmic world serpent.

Lakshmi symbolises the divine rays of wisdom that raise us above the level of sensory phenomena and want to lead us out of the chaos of illusions. The Indian myth relates that the god of gods is sleeping and that all events in creation, the birth and death of worlds, is just an endless chain of his dream images. Vishnu and Lakshmi form a unity; together they are the first and sole conscious entity of the universe. Everything in our sham world is, on the other hand, manifold. They are events which have become separated from this unity.

Often, the old vital energies can still confuse us with their impulses. It will still take some time before the new meaning of life is able to reach us unimpeded. Old patterns of life, which we thought we had left behind, continue to capture our attention. Only when the storm of these ingrained patterns has been stilled by the new, pure energy, can the new vibration change our state of being. The truth will have found an abode within us, but we cannot comprehend this reality with our external senses.

If our longing is concentrated on the true self, the external senses can merge into a single, individual sensory organ. This is the true insight into things. Then our senses can only concentrate on the purpose of life. The excess baggage will be thrown out of the chariot! Finally, the charioteer recognises his own essence. The horses will turn around in order to follow the path shown by the divine rays of wisdom. Of such a human being it is said:

'He does not see, smell or taste; he does not speak, hear, think or distinguish, because there is nothing that would be different from him... 
And yet, he sees, because seeing and he are one; and yet he listens, because hearing and he are one... 
And yet, he feels, as feeling and he are one; and yet, he distinguishes, as distinction and he are one.'

This reality is reflected in a purified personality, which is no longer subjected to the suggested cohesion of the external life. A pure projection of the eternal truth then arises, a radiation that intervenes in our field of life with light and love.

'That is the mystery of existence: there is an approach to life which, if you adopt it, will enable you to create in yourself the conditions necessary for the reality, the One, to be able to project itself through you. [...] 
Then a mighty light will spread through the dark regions of dialectical existence, as a blessing for many.'

  sources

¹ Katha Upanishad. Fragment from Chapter III. http://www.mountainman.com.au/katha_up.html
² Sergius Golowin, Mircea Eliade and Joseph Campbell. 
Die grosse Mythen der Menschheit (The great myths of humanity), 1998. 
³  Id. 
⁴ Schult, Arthur. Die Weisheit der Veden und Upanishaden 
(The wisdom of the Vedas and Upanishads). Berlin, Lorber/Turm Verlag, 1986. 
⁵ J van Rijckenborgh, The Chinese Gnosis. Haarlem, Rozekruis Pers, 1996, p. 286.

 © Pentagram, 2005.

Article from Pentagram, 2005, No 6